If you’re driving and miss a turn, you don't just give up and forget about going to your destination. If you're using a GPS, it will take a moment and then say, "Recalculating route." It doesn't say, "You're a loser who just went the wrong way, you should just turn around and go home." If you follow the recalculations, you get yourself back on track and get to your destination.
If you have a goal, and you don’t hit it, that doesn't mean you've failed. It might simply mean that you need to recalculate your route and get right back on the road.
The one thing that your original route and your recalculated route have in common is clarity. There is a starting point, there are steps to be done in a certain order, and there is a final destination to reach.
In other words, there are mini goals within your major goal.
It’s easy to get clear on major goals. ‘I want to lose 30 pounds,’ ‘I’m going to start my own business this year,’ or ‘I’m going to go back to school and finish my degree’ are all examples of major goals. But major goals will never be accomplished without knowing what mini goals have to be reached in order for you to do those things.
Clarity is the secret ingredient. You can know what you want to do, but if you don’t know how you are going to do it, you’ll never get there.
When I’m coaching people, I always ask the question, "What does your success look like to you?" More often than not, I’m met with a blank stare or an "I don't know." Most people are just fine “going with the flow.” That's because most people haven't sat down and mapped out what success looks like for them.
If you don't know what you want in life, how will you ever know whether or not you were successful?
It's like getting in the car without a destination. You'll never know when you’ve arrived, and you may end up driving around endlessly until you run out of gas. Wherever you stop is where you are. You didn’t choose that destination, your lack of clarity chose that destination for you.
Here’s what you need to know - goals don't have to be daunting; they don’t need to be big or life-changing. Goals are exactly what you need them to be...little steps to take daily that get you to anyplace you want to go.
“You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” (Martin Luther King Jr.)
Here are some steps you can take to get clarity when it comes to your goals:
- Start with the big picture
- Make a list of all the things that you need to do in order for your goal to be reached
- Educate yourself
- Revisit your list and choose the top 3 things that will actually move you towards your goal
- Put those things in your daily calendar
- Check them off your list each day
Here’s an example of how that clarity might look in real life.
- I want to lose 30 pounds.
- I need to choose more healthy food options more often, stop going through fast food drive-thrus every day just out of habit, and commit to walking a total of 30 minutes a day.
- What are healthy foods? What does that even mean??? I watched a couple of videos (from respected sources) about how the body actually works and what some easy and healthy recipes that I can prep for the week are. I did a Google search on how to eat and lose weight healthily without dieting and found that the same few things kept coming up! I learned that my stress is the thing keeping me overweight! So, I added a five minute meditation and breathing exercise to my day. I also learned that using meal-prep as a strategy meant that I only needed to cook once a week to have healthy options all week long! Wow! There are so many easy things I can do to be more healthy that I never knew about before. The key is doing these things consistently. It’s not about losing 30 pounds, it’s about making a few lifestyle changes that not only help me drop that extra weight, but also serve my mental and physical health for the rest of my life. I also made a point to follow a few of the people on social media that I can keep learning from. I like how they talk about things, they make it easy to understand, and that makes me want to learn more!
- Here is what I am going to commit to for the next three months: five minutes of meditation on a free app every morning, walking 30 minutes a day (I can listen to that book I’ve been wanting to read while I’m walking, too!), and starting to do more meal-prep (making enough healthier food of my choice to last several days, so I can grab and go without having to think much about food decisions!).
- I just made a daily appointment on my calendar from 7:30-8:00 am that says “WALK.” I will treat this appointment as I would any other that I make, and will not miss it. If something comes up, I will reschedule it at another time that day, but I will not miss it.
- I set each of these things up as reminders on my digital calendar so that I not only get notifications to do them, but I can hold myself accountable by clicking them off as I complete them.
Be consistent and be patient! You’re not going to reach your goal tomorrow or next week or next month. Do not have that expectation; know that going in! But what you will begin to notice is that you are not the person you used to be. After all, the whole point of having goals is to move you from where you are to where you want to be. In the days, weeks, and months that follow, you’ll watch yourself becoming more disciplined, more self-motivated, and more in control of your life. Once you experience what that feels like on a consistent basis, it will be harder to go back to the “old you.”
Every three months, revisit your list and see if you are on the right track or if you need to recalculate your route.
Giving up is not an option. You can rest, but don’t stop. You can recalculate, but don't turn around and just go home. The only time any of us “fails” is when we give up and stop trying. If you have a goal, there is a reason you want it. If there is a reason you want it, you need to go get it. Building step-by step clarity into your goals will give you a roadmap that will always get you to your destination.