In order to build your happy place, you have to start with a strong foundation.
As I talked about in my last article, building your happy place is just like building a house. Doing steps in the right order helps you to build something amazing and sustainable.
In this article, you’ll learn how to Build the Foundation of your happy place.
Let’s jump right in!
Being happy is everyone’s pursuit. Yet, happiness seems to evade so many people. This made me curious about what happy people have in common.
Over the past four years, I have interviewed countless happy people for my podcast, Work From Your Happy Place, and have discovered that there are three foundational concepts that all of them possess. I call these “anchors,” and they act as the foundation for your own happy place.
Anchor #1 - Relationships
Who do you choose to spend your time with? The key word there is choose.
We all spend a lot of time with people, whether it’s at work, at home, at school, at religious gatherings, at association meetings, at industry events, at family get-togethers, etc. We are surrounded by other people every day of our lives. However, there is a difference between people with whom we have to have a relationship with and people with whom we choose to have a relationship with.
One thing that all happy people have in common is they spend as much time as they can with people they choose to be with. Those are the people in their lives that make them smile, make them feel good, are honest with them and bring out their best selves.
Your relationships are key to your happiness. When you are surrounded by others who make you feel supported, healthier, and connected, the natural result is that you feel happier.
So, who do you choose to spend your time with?
Sit down and make a list of your current relationships, both personal and professional. Go through the list, and make some honest observations about the people on it. What I want you to look for are the names that make you feel good! Who brought a smile to your face when you saw their name? Who made you feel proud to know? Who made you feel like they are “on your team?” Who was an immediate “Yes!”? Who did you get excited about talking to or seeing again? Who is honest with you because they genuinely care?
These are the relationships to hone. They are the relationships on which your focus belongs. This is not to say that the others are not important. Everyone on that list is important; some simply to remind you of the type of person you don’t want to be. Appreciate them all and embrace the positive ones every chance you get.
Anchor #2 - Enjoy What You Do
As the saying goes, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
People who work from their ‘happy place’ do their work with a sense of joy.
Most of our adult life is spent at work. To some, that brings a smile to their face. For others, it brings a feeling of despair. People who are happy find the joy in what they do, no matter what that is!
Happy people have a why, not just a what when it comes to their jobs.
The way they do this is by choosing to look for the purpose in what they are doing. The title or position doesn’t matter so much. What matters is that they look at their work as doing something that serves others. Whether you are a doctor, a janitor, a writer, a lawyer, a computer programmer or a fast food worker, happy people see what they do as something that helps others feel safe, appreciated, taken care of or simply seen.
If you look for it, there is always an aspect of your work that can bring joy. When you find the joy, you find a part of your happy place. If you find it challenging to find the “why” in what you do, give yourself permission to make a change. If there is no purpose, no happiness, no joy, if you feel beholden to someone else, it may be time to take action. Just because you may have spent time and money to get to where you are, that is not a good reason to stay in a job that is crushing your spirit day after day. Don’t ever let past decisions about your work keep you stuck in an unhappy place. Your happy place is waiting for you to bring your value, go find it.
Anchor #3 - Positive Attitude
A positive attitude is a choice.
For as long as I can remember, I have kept a half full glass of water on my desk. It reminds me every single day that I have a choice to see things as half empty or half full.
You always have a choice in deciding which attitude you adopt. People who are optimists generally have an opportunity mentality. People who are pessimists have more of a victim mentality.
Someone with a victim mentality is always thinking about what’s “being done” to them. They say things like, “Why is this happening to me?” and “It’s so unfair.” Yet, they do nothing to change it. They have made a habit of telling themselves that they have restrictions.
A person with an opportunity mentality is always thinking about what they can do. They say things like, “What can I do about that?” and “How can I help others through this challenge?” They have made a habit of telling themselves there is always an action they can take to help make it better.
Happy people are optimists. They get that way because they seek out positive experiences and positive messages; they listen to podcasts and music, read books and articles that make them feel good. They follow people on social media who share positive news.They look for the happiness in the world, and that’s why they can see it everywhere.
The three things with which you spend the most time - your relationships, your work, and your thoughts - should serve both yourself and others around you. If they are not serving you, you have the ability to make some changes to strengthen this foundation. The choices you make in regards to these “anchors” will determine the level of happiness you have in your life.
A strong foundation keeps something amazing sustainable, and your happiness is an amazing thing worth building.
In the next article, I will help you begin building the rooms of your happy place!